Thursday Pitty Party

I looked at myself in the the mirror this morning and decided that if the bags under my eyes get any bigger, or darker, they will soon take over my entire face. It's safe to say that I'm exhausted. I can't remember a time in my life when my worry list to do list was as long as it is right now. I can't remember a time when I had a worry list to do list with such intense, difficult matters. When did this happen? When did I become an adult? When did my to do lists change from, find a dress for homecoming to pay off furniture, find a new place to live, go grocery shopping, file the (freaking) taxes? I want to go back to simpler times. That's all.

Just a thought

(Photo from the window of our M street apartment in Washington DC)

 

Last night I got home from school late. I was exhausted but instead of sleeping I started clicking through photos from the last couple years. It was so fun remembering those trips and cooking projects and party's and outing's from the past. I sat there remembering where we were in life and what we were doing where we were living and realized something. In almost all varying stages of life I've gone through in the last several years I remember (to a degree) wishing my time away. I remember wanting to move out of Provo and to Washington DC so badly. Then when I got to DC I remember wanting to move back so I could start school. Now (I hate to admit) I want to be out of school, living some place else working. I struggle with the whole "enjoy the ride" thing. I focus way to much on the beginnings and the endings of the chapters of my life making everything that happens in between get lost.

 

I'd like to make a change. This year I'll try harder to enjoy the present and worry less about the future. 

Finals Week

Oh hi. Hello. I'm still alive. Barely. My feet ache. And my back aches. And I feel as if I smell only of deep fryer grease and dirty dishes. But I'm surviving I think. This week has been a whirlwind (and let me point out that it's only Tuesday...). Below is what happened last night at 11:00pm. So yeah that's basically where I'm at right now. Three ibuprofen and a butt load of crappy Chinese food. All I have left is one practical, a book report, a paper and I'm home free.

 

 

 

That guy I'm married to

My husband is a goof ball. It's not a secret And most times sometimes it drives me crazy. The constant tickling. The voices. The inability to take serious things serious. And the laugh, oh that laugh. The one that is often mistaken for sobs. He is through and through boy, poop jokes and all.  And unfortunately it is far too rare that I actually stop to appreciate that guy, silly laugh, funny phrases, even the poop jokes. In those moments when something strikes him as funny you can usually find me sitting by his side burying my shaking head in my hands, or giving him an elbow to the ribs, my way of telling him to knock it off, or if it's bad enough a motherly "Aaaadam!", escapes my lips, followed by a "come on!" or "pull yourself together". 

 

I can happily say that after almost 3 years of marriage I am starting to change. I laugh more - and I don't take things so seriously. Living with someone who makes me laugh was not something I considered to be important before I got married. My "list" of qualities to find in a husband oddly enough didn't include one of the things I love most about the man I ended up with. Laughing everyday with the person I love is fun. It is a significant part of our relationship. Making jokes out of bills and car repairs and piles of laundry makes those tedious, miserable things somewhat more enjoyable. The funny bone that Adam posses is one that I was born without, but slowly I'm learning. When something terrible happens, or life just feels hard my initial reaction is to become frustrated and sad. Adam's is to laugh. Or to make a joke. Or even find one on you tube.

 

 He is a good example of what I'd like to be like. I'm getting there. But for now I'm learning to appreciate that part of my husband that I typically don't.

 





 

Photo's brought to you by the night "No Shave November" ended. The curly Frenchman was my favorite. But of course the night was ended with the classic Hitler stach.



Thanksgiving Eve

Today, the day before Thanksgiving, I am feeling thankful. For so many things. It's nice to sometimes just sit and think about the things we are blessed to have. And today I'm feeling completely overwhelmed with all that I have. Unfortunately it's a rare an occasion where I actually ponder and recognize the big and simplest of blessings. But today that changes. Today I am thankful.

I am thankful for family. For a husband who loves me unconditionally, for a mother who worries about me constantly, for a step dad who is smarter than me, for sisters who inspire me, for a dad who knows me, for grandparents and extended family who support me.

I am thankful for a Heavenly Father who loves me.

I am thankful for friends, who are cooler than me, and smarter than me and funnier than me.

I am thankful for my talents and abilities. The ones that come easily to me and the ones I continue to perfect.

I am thankful for my job and for my education. Two things that contribute to making me a better me.

I am thankful for cookies.

I am thankful for technology including but not limited to: my cell phone, the internet, cameras, electricity, netfix.

I am thankful for my home and everything that inside of it, including but not limited to: my bed (ha) I'm glad I have a warm place to sleep at night.

I am thankful for the opportunities and experiences I have had/will have. Even the difficult ones, or as I like to call them "learning experiences".

I am thankful for really good food.

I am thankful for beautiful things. For the arts. For music and interesting buildings, and clothing. For nature and theater and all things enriching.

For the rest of this holiday weekend I hope to keep this spirit with me. What are you thankful for?

Last year 

Dear November

It's nice to have you here. You bring the holiday that is all about food, and with your arrival radio stations begin playing festive music. I get the green light to officially stop shaving my legs until at least April and we get to trade in homework sessions and answering the phone at work for eating turkey and making memories with family. Welcome November, thanks for coming. 

Life

Right now my life is kind of in limbo. In transition. Trying to feel my way into a new routine. I wish there was some kind of life GPS that I could just switch on and it would tell me where to go. I would be able to see a blue line on the screen and I would just follow it. And everything would be fine. And it would make sense. And I wouldn't wonder where I was going because I would just be able to see it on my life GPS. We all go through this at some point I guess, but it doesn't change the fact that my life minus structure is not a good idea. It stresses me out. And when I'm stressed out I make cookies.

 Can I share my cookies with you?

My Husband

 Sometimes I wonder how I got so lucky to be married to Adam. He is funny, and intelligent, and handsome, and is now a college graduate. I don't think I could be more proud. He has worked so hard. So many late nights. So many papers. So many classes and professors. So many pep talks. And finally he's reached the end of his BYU undergraduate education. The end of another chapter in his life. On the brink an exciting new path.

 

I am so proud of you Adam, and am really looking forward to what is in store for us in the future. 

 

Saying Goodbye

  Change has always been something I could embrace. Not to say that changes aren't hard for me but in most cases I am able to see the good in every big life change I have been faced with. Our lives are about to change again. As we leave Washington DC we look forward to new adventures in store for us back home in Utah, and we reflect on all of the opportunists and experiences we've had while living in DC. We've had our high and low points. Coping with the woe's of public transportation (running to the bus) would be an example of a low point. Adam being able to work with the judiciary staff in Senator Lee's office would be a high, baby Hannah, Founding Farmers, etc all high points. We have loved living here, we've met amazing people, learned even more about each other and our marriage, and grown a lot as individuals. We go home with excitement for the next stage in our lives and know that Washington DC will always have a special place in our hearts.

Our bags are packed, our cleaning check passed all that's left now is 2,000 miles in the car and we're home.  

Thoughts on moving

The end has finally come. I'm still not sure that it has really sunk in yet. We're moving out of our apartment. Our first home together. Finally moving out of Provo. In the fall of 2009 when I first moved to Provo my original plan was to stay one, MAYBE two semesters. Thanks to the BYU student I married I have now been here for two and a half years. Although I never thought I would say this (Provo is not my most favorite place in the world) I will miss our sweet little apartment on University and University. I will miss driving to the Y on the motorcycle on warm nights. I will miss Rice King on center street. I will miss our first home.

This change is a really good thing and don't get me wrong I am so super excited for all of the new exciting things that are coming our way, but I think it's safe to say that this move will be bittersweet. I almost feel like I am deserting a good friend and that in some way my empty apartment will miss me too. I look forward to the day when I will be able to drive around Provo with my kids pointing out important landmarks in Adam's and my relationship, specifically "Mommy and Daddy's first home".

Mostly I'm just so grateful for how everything worked out with our first apartment and getting the job as resident managers. We have been so very blessed thus far in our marriage and I am thankful for my Heavenly Father's support. He really does know and care for us on an individual basis, that becomes more and more apparent to me every day.